She's my sister. The 2nd youngest of us all and I adore her the most. We were in for our dinner; on 25th of Feb 2013 9p.m. at DaoRae. I took out a stack of cards and told her to choose 5 cards that best describe our relationship. She narrowed her eyes and I could sense a swing in her mood almost immediately.
This sister of mine is special; very special indeed. She's gifted in so many areas; academic, sports, ballet, arts, piano, beauty, etc. From a very tender age she started to receive ONLY positive feedback because she was the best in all that she did. These positive feedback developed her into one with very high self-confidence and self-esteem. Too much of it that they actually also developed her into one with very high ego and a sense of inferiority complex deep within her. Too much of it that all these are expressed in her behavior; negatively most of the time.
When I noticed the swing in her mood I redirected her negative behavior by redirecting her RAS. I mentioned another time again to her that she is to choose 5 cards that best describe our relationship but these 5 cards have to contain only happy moments when we were together. Almost immediately again her mood swung; this time to a jovial mood. I could see her lips were curved into beautiful smiles and her eyes were lighted up. She took a couple of minutes to flip through cards repeatedly as she fondly recalled the happy moments when we were together. Finally she gave me the 5 cards that best described our happy sibling relationship.
I then asked her to narrate why she chose these 5 cards one by one. Of the 5 cards, 4 cards revolved around our time together as a family during vacations. You see, our parents would make it a point to bring all 5 of us siblings for vacations each year ever since we were very young. But there was this one vacation which was very special to both of us. An escape to the land Down Under; Australia. It was in 2008 when I chose to end my relationship to be with my husband now. She was so furious with my decision that she refused to talk to me, refused to pick up my calls or replied my texts. Dad noticed the strain between the both of us and decided he had to interfere. Hence, this trip. I couln't recount if I was the one who broke the silence between us but all I know at the end of the trip I know it was one the trips that I would remember for a long time. The 5th card would be the card that brought back all the sweet memories when mum would forced us to do all the household chores together.
I realized something that night. From the moment when I redicted her RAS till the moment she finished narrating her stories using the cards she was constantly in her jovial mood. I could see her smile for at least 10 minutes throughout the whole exercise. She was so positive; so happy! I told myself if I can consistently do this exercise on her 21 times the whole negative behavior redirection will be her constant. It will become a habit to her and definitely for myself as well.
