A Constant : Negative Behavior Redirection

She's my sister. The 2nd youngest of us all and I adore her the most. We were in for our dinner; on 25th of Feb 2013 9p.m. at DaoRae. I took out a stack of cards and told her to choose 5 cards that best describe our relationship. She narrowed her eyes and I could sense a swing in her mood almost immediately.
This sister of mine is special; very special indeed. She's gifted in so many areas; academic, sports, ballet, arts, piano, beauty, etc. From a very tender age she started to receive ONLY positive feedback because she was the best in all that she did. These positive feedback developed her into one with very high self-confidence and self-esteem. Too much of it that they actually also developed her into one with very high ego and a sense of inferiority complex deep within her. Too much of it that all these are expressed in her behavior; negatively most of the time.
When I noticed the swing in her mood I redirected her negative behavior by redirecting her RAS. I mentioned another time again to her that she is to choose 5 cards that best describe our relationship but these 5 cards have to contain only happy moments when we were together. Almost immediately again her mood swung; this time to a jovial mood. I could see her lips were curved into beautiful smiles and her eyes were lighted up. She took a couple of minutes to flip through cards repeatedly as she fondly recalled the happy moments when we were together. Finally she gave me the 5 cards that best described our happy sibling relationship.
I then asked her to narrate why she chose these 5 cards one by one. Of the 5 cards, 4 cards revolved around our time together as a family during vacations. You see, our parents would make it a point to bring all 5 of us siblings for vacations each year ever since we were very young. But there was this one vacation which was very special to both of us. An escape to the land Down Under; Australia. It was in 2008 when I chose to end my relationship to be with my husband now. She was so furious with my decision that she refused to talk to me, refused to pick up my calls or replied my texts. Dad noticed the strain between the both of us and decided he had to interfere. Hence, this trip. I couln't recount if I was the one who broke the silence between us but all I know at the end of the trip I know it was one the trips that I would remember for a long time. The 5th card would be the card that brought back all the sweet memories when mum would forced us to do all the household chores together.
I realized something that night. From the moment when I redicted her RAS till the moment she finished narrating her stories using the cards she was constantly in her jovial mood. I could see her smile for at least 10 minutes throughout the whole exercise. She was so positive; so happy! I told myself if I can consistently do this exercise on her 21 times the whole negative behavior redirection will be her constant. It will become a habit to her and definitely for myself as well.

My 2-cents after Bersih 3.0

I wish to pen down all my thoughts in Facebook but that would mean my status is infinite. So I decided this is the best platform. Now friend, just because your daddy is one of the government's orang kanan, doesn't mean you have to go all out to protect the idiotic government. I think you as a graduate ( which I personally think all your tuition fees and living expenses abroad were borne by the rakyat very hard-earned money ) are not so foolish until you can't even distinguish whatever the current government does is really for their families and cronies or the rakyat. Oh perhaps 1% for the rakyat to cover the 99% for their families and cronies. Perhaps you're blinded by the huge mansion your daddy build for you, the super luxurious car only his son can afford, the annual overseas trips for your entire family, and the income 'generated' by your daddy that can last for generations. Now if those are the results of every sweat and tears of your daddy rakyat will just keep quiet. There is a huge frustration among rakyat because they know very well their very very hard-earned money is massively misused by the government. If only these amount of money is spent to support the pensioners and senior citizens, upgrade medical facilities in the countries so that everyone can afford quality healthcare;not only the loaded ones like you, upgrade education system and facilities that we may be able to produce competitive graduates to compete globally (come on, if our education system today is world-class as claimed by our DPM) name me ONE politician who sends his/her child to local government uni. Don't have right? Not even you right?), upgrade the countries transportation and infrastructure so that rakyat can live comfortably, etc. etc. Now with so many things that had got to be done and improved where the hell did your daddy got the money to buy you mansions, luxurious cars and overseas first class trips? Do you think all of that are necessary until the welfare of rakyat is brutally ignored? which is why there's Bersih. Rakyat wants someone within their community to really take care of them. And I believe in every election they had voted the best person to represent them;only to ALWAYS have someone who is greedy, selfish, lazy, low IQ and EQ and self-centered to represent them at the end. This is the voice of rakyat. That the election results are really transparent and accurate. Rakyat are simply genius. They know who will really fight for them and who will not. So my friend, if you and your daddy are wise, listen to the rakyat. Never be slaves to power and money.

Hunminga

Hunminga (Poems for the Education of People)

1
My father bore me and my mother raised me.
Without my parents I could not exist at all.
How can I repay them for their incomparable and boundless love?
2
The sovereign is heaven and his subject the earth.
His Majesty wants to know everything we suffer from.
So how can we eat even green vegetables alone?
3
Brothers, feel each other's flesh.
Who bore you and made you look alike?
Grown up in the same bosom,
never be unfaithful to one another.
4
Devote yourself to your parents
while they are still alive.
What good is it to lament over their death?
This alone is your irrevocable duty in your lifetime.
5
Man and wife are created by dividing one body in two.
Together the two grow old,
together the two lie in the grave.
How foolish it is too scowl at each other!
6
Men detour from where women come and go.
Women stray from where men come and go.
It's only right not to ask even the name
of other's husband or wife.
7
How much has your son learned with Hyogyeong?
My son will soon finish reading Sohak.
When will they master the books and become gentlemen?
8
Villagers, let's act properly.
If we human beings act against humanity,
We may not differ from horse and ox
dressing and eating like man.
9
When an old man holds your wrist,
lend him your hands.
When he wants to go out,
follow him with a staff.
When the feast he attends at is over,
accompany him to his home.
10
Friends, next to your relatives, are the most reliable.
They are willing to point out all your errors and faults,
How can you act like a man without your dear friends?
11
Oh, my nephew, how miserable you have no rice to cook!
Oh, my uncle, how pitiable you have no clothes to wear!
Let me know what you want so I may take care of you.
12
How much will you prepare for your funeral rite?
When will you choose a spouse for your daughter?
Though I'm not well-off, I'll help you with pleasure.
13
Another day is breaking.
Let's go to the rice paddy with hoes.
After weeding my rice paddy, I shall help you weed yours.
On our way home let's pick mulberry leaves for silkworms.
14
Although you wear tattered coats, don't take others' by force.
Although you have little to eat, don't beg for your bread.
Once you are stained with dirt, it is hard to wash it off.
15
Don't gamble with dice or chess, nor start a lawsuit.
Or you will be driven to bankruptcy and earn many grievances.
Remember the state laws enacted to punish criminals.
16
Let me help you, sir,
carrying packs on your head and back.
As I am young, I can even carry stones for you.
To grow old is sad-how can I leave you alone?

Yang Teristimewa

Di kala ku menulis ruangan ini, kandunganku berusia 22 minggu 5 hari. Saban hari, ketika aku memerhati kandunganku semakin membesar, saban hari, ketika insan teristimewa ini menendangku, aku hanya mampu melanjutkan syukurku kepada Yang Maha Esa.

Aku bersyukur kerana aku mampu mengandungkan kandungan ini. Aku bersyukur kerana punyai si dia yang terlalu memahami karenah ibu mengandung. Aku bersyukur kerana dikelilingi oleh mereka yang begitu mengambil berat tentang diri ini.

Aku mengaku insan ini mengubah diriku untuk memberikan yang terbaik dalam apa jua yang ku lakukan. Dia tidak pernah meminta namun naluri ibu mengetahui. Aku pastikan hanya makanan untuk tumbesaran maksimumnya melalui plasenta, diriku and persekitaran bersih agar dia bebas daripada jangkitan kuman, aku bersenam agar di hari kelahirannya segalanya berjalan lancar, aku berbicara dan nyanyi untuk dia serta aku menjalani pemeriksaan pakar untuk memastikan dia membesar dengan sihat di dalam.

Tiap malam sebelum ku lelapkan mata, akan ku tatap imej ultrasoundnya. Pasti senyuman bahagia terukir di bibir ini. Dia begitu istimewa dan berharga buat diri ini dan si dia. Ku berdoa semoga Yang Maha Esa sentiasa di sisinya sehinggalah di hari insan ini melihat dunia.

A dedication : What is my first thing and why...

I presented this during our 7 Habits of Highly Effective People today and everyone thought it was a beautiful piece therefore I decided to publish this.

"When I was single all I thought about was my career. Now that I'm married and am expecting a newborn in Dec'10, the first thing in my life changed almost instantly. The person who is responsible in my life changing enlightenment is none other that my own husband. His selflessness in ensuring that both of our souls are eventually one...his abundant sacrifices that we may have a happy and healthy family till old age...his wishes that we may have grandchildren together and then retire in a lil' cottage by the countryside. I'm truly and genuinely glad that I'm the woman of his sacrifices and dreams.

It may not be possible for me to list down every single sacrifices that he had made because time is definitely not on my side. Perhaps one day when we have the chance to sit down over a cup of coffee I'll narrate them all.

All in all he had been the constant enlightenment in my life since the day we met till now (as I'm speaking now) and God willing he will be till death do us part. That is my first thing and he is the reason why."

That's for you, sayang. May this continue for many, many more days. Love you much.

Chinese New Year, Year 2010

This year, year 2010, we looked forward to Chinese New Year very much as it marked the alpha of opening up our home to family and friends to share our joy in building her and completing her much to our satisfaction.

Hubby's friends started to arrive as early as 9:30a.m. on the 2nd day of New Year. Much of catching up with each other's lives to do as they had not met for several years. I must say it was quite a reunion for these gentlemen. My...it was heart-warming listening to their life experiences as there was so much they had gone thru and experienced and yet I personally believe life has so much more in store for these gentlemen. They then tried to find out if god of prosperity was with any one of them. Yes! The gambling session began! It was indeed a very addictive and full of anticipation session as it ended at 4:00p.m with a simple lunch in between for them. Obviously god of prosperity was not with hubby as he lost 7 bucks...:).

Families of my friends arrived shortly before lunch. Oh how delightful was I seeing the kids leaping up and down our built-in dining bench, arranging the gold-coin chocolates in creative manners only kids can think of before eating all them up while their parents savored in our homemade cookies. And I must say again it was hallmark moments for me to see these parents bonding with their kids. They are all just precious and darlings of their parents.

It was a rest day for us on the 3rd day as we were just too exhausted from playing host yesterday. Hubby has got to work on the 4th day therefore I went back home alone this New Year. I mentioned in my previous blog I would always be comfortable and feel at home the most when I got to see my family back in Sitiawan. Pa & ma were all too happy to have all her children back for the 1 week. Lil' Elvin had grown so much since I last saw him 2 months ago. Ever so mischievous ever so pampered, lil' Elvin is very much adored by all. The rest of my siblings were progressing well in this journey of life.

Hubby received more visitors while I was away. They kept my heart singing for much joy when they complimented on our new home. I must be a proud owner of this new home...:)
It was a hectic yet memorable week for both hubby and I. It was definitely not the end of opening up our home to families & friends. It was just the beginning.

Part-time Income...:)

I'd always been fascinated with the idea of generating some income; regardless of how small the profit margin is; from favorite pastime.

I love the kitchen though never really had the chance to be in it full-time. It's amazing to watch these people in the kitchen turn magically all the raw ingredients into some very delicious, beautiful,attractive dishes. Therefore, one fine day, on Mooncake Festival, I decided to learn to do some mini snowskin mooncakes from my mum-in-law. We made some extras during the stage of our (my husband & I) learning and I managed to sell to a couple of my closest colleagues. Works of mouths did wonders really. Orders kept pouring in non-stop. We had to start making them after work each day from 7pm till 11pm. 5am the next morning we would wake up to deliver them. Those were our routines everyday (inclusive of Sat & Sun) for the whole month of Mooncake Festival. At the end of the day, we managed to pay my mum-in-law some wages and settled our 2 months house installment from the profits we gained...:). What a sale ya folks ?:)

Motivated by this we learned up many more delicacies from my mum-in-law. We made karipap pusing, epok-epok, onde-onde & cupcakes. On & off we would receive orders from friends to cater for their functions. On days when I was exceptionally hardworking I would wake up early to help my mum-in-law to make some for my colleagues; sold to them at a very cheap price for their breakfasts or tea...:).

This coming CNY we're all gear-up once again to deliver our specialties to all friends who enjoy our home-made. Kuih kapit (an almost forgotten traditional Chinese delicacy especially on the making episode) and kuih bangkit are in our to do lists. So folks if you're new to Celine's Delights (our newly set-up home business) do give both of these delicacies a try. You'll come asking for more...:). Guaranteed!

Now folks...while the intention is to generate some income out of hobbies, when the money is good, we tend to be carried away. We start to focus on profit margins, on lower cost of raw material, on optimizing the whole process that we may gain more, etc. Along the way the quality of our food may deteriorate despite the same old recipe which we used that brought us to where we are today. While I do not deny that those steps are important in any business, when it comes to food, they must be prepared with full of passion. Believe you me; when your customers eat them they eat your passion. Which is why they keep coming back for more...:). Seem ridiculous ya folks...but try doing something out of a lot of passion and see what is the outcome. You'd be glad...truly glad.

Today (23/01/2010) we started to do kuih kapit. It was a tedious process but we enjoyed every single second of it. And after we finished we ate. They are all the more delicious. As expected...:).